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Category: Life Issues
Ever wonder if a person is telling you a lie? There are clues which can tell you that a person is being less than truthful to you and that are methods you can use to get at the truth or manipulate the situation.
How To Spot a Liar:
1. No eye contact. His eyes will look away. If the room has a means of egress - that's where they'll look.
2. Crossing of arms and/or legs (a protective instinct).
3. The pupils of the eyes will narrow. Lying is stressful.
4. Hands on the face, especially the mouth. They are "covering" the lie.
5. Talking fast. A liar wants to get it over with.
6. Sometimes the head will nod a "no" when answering a "yes" question or visa versa. This is a subconcious movement.
7. Mispronouncing the words or mumbling. A liar kinda thinks he is not lying when he pronounces words incorrectly or mumbles.
8. Overstated friendliness/laughing. He wants you to believe and he wants you to like him so you will believe him.
How Not To Be Lied To:
1. Sit in the higher chair. A subtle sort of intimidation.
2. Uncross your legs and open your arms - lean back. Make yourself "open" to the truth.
3. Ask for minute details (a challenge to the liar).
4. Don't ever tell them what you DO know - don't point out you know what they are saying is a lie. This is your own ego trip.
5. Invade their personal space. Get close, they'll get uncomfortable (good).
6. Mimic their posture and movements..be subtle. This establishes a rapport and they'll never figure out why.
7. Speak in their style. Listen to how they think. If the person says things like "I HEAR ya!" or "that SOUNDS good", you'll know he thinks auditorially or with his ears. If he says "I shoulda SEEN it comin" or "I SEE what you mean", you'll know he is visually oriented. If he says things like "it HIT me like a tons of bricks" or "I just FROZE in my tracks", you'll know he thinks by feelings. Speak to him the same way. A good test is to ask someone to recite the alphabet. Some people will stare as if they are looking at the alphabet above the blackboard in grade school (visual), some people will sing the alphabet (auditory) and some people will taps out the letters (feeling). If you match their thinking method, you'll have nstant rapport.
8. Give 'em an "out". You gotta make it easy for them to to tell the truth. Pretend you didn't hear them correctly or tell them you didn't understand what they said. Always leave a way out so they recant their words and tell the truth.
9. Stay calm. Never show surprise or shock. Treat everything they say with the same importance. The first time you react negatively you will lose any chance of being told the truth.
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